She said you just had to make an emotional commitment in marriage. It was like skiing, you could not see in advance what would happen but you had to let go....

She said you just had to make an emotional commitment in marriage. It was like skiing, you could not see in advance what would happen but you had to let go. Maybe that was why I failed, because I didn't know what I had to let go of. For me it hadn't been like skiing, it was more like jumping off a cliff. That was the feeling I had all the time I was married, in the air, going down, waiting for the smash at the bottom.

The passage indicates that the author's experience in marriage was